Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I Won't Care if the 'Ninja Turtles' Reboot Sucks - And Neither Should You

I'll be blunt - I'm not at all concerned that the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie might be awful. The truth of the matter is I can't understand how anyone my age could be so worked up about it. Yet, countless message board threads, comments sections on movie news sites, and Facebook posts indicate that they do care. A lot.

For those who need a quick recap, Michael Bay (Transformers, Armageddon, scourge of fanboys everywhere) is producing a new live-action Turtles film. It's being directed by Jonathan Liebsman (Battle: Los Angeles) and they've shortened the title to just Ninja Turtles. That minor change is small potatoes, though. The alteration that everyone seems to be up in arms about involves the origin of the eponymous characters. Instead of actual turtles who are mutated by a mysterious ooze, Bay indicated that in this incarnation the heroes-in-a-halfshell will be members of an alien race. It was a vague statement. No one even really knows what exactly that means yet. That didn't stop the internet from exploding with venomous rage and a ridiculous chorus of cries from grown men bemoaning the fact that another filmmaker was once again raping their childhood.